Teachers

Épisode 1 - Episode One

21 mars 2001 - 4/5

On his 26th birthday Simon is persuaded to steal a statue from Summerdown School. He spends the next week worried the authoritarian Claire will find out. Simon also gets it in the neck from Jenny, who feels he is too undisciplined, and he’s in for a shock when he realizes his girlfriend Maggie is in fact a police officer.

Épisode 2 - Episode Two

28 mars 2001 - 4/5

Clare enjoys winding the teachers up about the upcoming Parent’s Evening. Susan also begins to fear that the job of Year Head will go to Jenny, who has been impressing Clare with her strict teaching skills. Simon must wriggle his way out of trouble after getting caught smoking a joint with a student.

Épisode 3 - Episode Three

4 avril 2001 - 3/5

Simon finally gets kicked out by his dad and is forced to move in with the boring Science teacher Steve. In the end, he decides even living in Brian and Kurt’s pigsty would be better and he moves in the following day. Things go from bad to worse as Maggie threatens to dump Simon for being unromantic. However, Carol’s idea of a romantic dinner goes down a treat and all is alright again.

Épisode 4 - Episode Four

11 avril 2001 - 4/5

The male teachers all become insecure about their respective relationships when Clare announces teaching sex education is to be taught in class. Simon makes his usual mess by advising a pupil to dump his girlfriend if she doesn’t sleep with him. Jenny sorts out Susan’s marital problems by having a stern word with Peter.

Épisode 5 - Episode Five

18 avril 2001 - 3/5

Simon gets sick of living with Brian and Kurt and Maggie eventually lets him move in with her. At the House Warming party Jenny gets off with Brian—something she later seriously regrets.

Épisode 6 - Episode Six

25 avril 2001

Susan’s marriage falls into turmoil and she has a nervous breakdown after all her advice goes wayward. Simon is offered a permanent post by Claire, but begins to wonder if he is in the right profession after his pupils mock results turn out to be disastrous.

Épisode 7 - Episode Seven

2 mai 2001

It’s another bad week for Simon, as first he gets blamed for a fiasco involving teachers faces on nude bodies, then falls out with fellow English teacher Bob, who will be interviewing him for his promotion. He also witnesses a pupil going into labour and realises how inadequate his knowledge of the female body is. Brian and Kurt are involved with a face off over Carol and Liz regarding access to Claire’s office.

Épisode 8 - Episode Eight

9 mai 2001

Liz’s gossiping around has resulted in a showdown of sorts between Simon and Jenny. Simon eventually backs down after making some untrue accusations which he heard from Brian and Kurt. All the staff are preparing for the End of Term party. Despite Clare’s best efforts to the contrary, everyone has a great time—Simon and Jenny even go home together. Another surprising development is the pairing of Kurt and Carol.

Épisode 1 - Episode One

13 mars 2002

It’s the first day of term and there are two new teachers; J.P. and Penny. Kurt is hiding from Carol, Susan is falling in love with J.P. and Simon is bored. While contemplating ways to make J.P. notice her, Susan takes advice from Brian and dresses more feminine. However it is all for nothing as she finds out that he is gay. Kurt give Liz chocolate so that she will dump Carol for him. Brian hears that Penny is a lesbian and becomes obsessed with her breasts.

Épisode 2 - Episode Two

20 mars 2002

Simon is becoming jealous of J.P., thinking that all the girls are after him. When J.P. suggests that they try another pub, Simon gets angry and regretfully asks Bob down the local pub, leaving everyone else to try a karaoke bar. Kurt can’t seem to get the message across to Carol in a nice way so he asks for Penny’s help. She agrees to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to repel Carol. Later at the karaoke bar, Carol arrives and performs ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ for Kurt, just as Penny decides not to help him after she is informed of Carol’s psychotic tendencies. Carol approaches a terrified Kurt and Jenny decides to put an end to it all. She walks up to Kurt and passionately kisses him, finally breaking Carol’s heart. Kurt is free, but Jenny may not be.

Épisode 3 - Episode Three

27 mars 2002

When Clare bans student’s facial hair in school, Kurt attempts to grow a moustache. Susan, on the other hand, is desperate to lose hers as she becomes less confident. Simon realises that he has never fancied Susan and tries really hard to change that fact. After a ‘moment’ in the photocopying room, he becomes convinced that they can be more than just friends. He takes her out to a resturant where he reveals his feelings for her. She is disgusted and decides that even though she can forget what has taken place, she cannot move in with him anymore.

Épisode 4 - Episode Four

3 avril 2002

J.P. tells Kurt and Brian that he is gay, which means that soon enough it becomes common knowledge. Simon and Kurt then devote much energy to convince Brian that he to is gay. The joke backfires however, when he tells Kurt that he and J.P. are a couple and they want Kurt to move out. When Kurt finally apologises, Brian comes clean and admits that he isn’t really gay. Meanwhile, Simon is disappointed at the poor ambitions of his students and lands in trouble for encouraging a student to explore the world rather than settle down. Jenny is bitter at having been left to do all the work for Careers Week and Carol finds love behind the filing cabinet.

Épisode 5 - Episode Five

10 avril 2003

Susan’s problem with Jenny and Alec’s none-too-private snogging and Alec’s frequent nudity comes to a peak. Initially the guys aren’t very supportive, but when J.P. brings a bloke home, Kurt and Brian begin to see her point. Susan seeks to escape the bedroom noises by going to Kurt and Brian’s flat only to find Kurt in Brian’s room as the sounds of J.P.’s tryst are hard to ignore as well. When word of Susan’s complaining gets back to Jenny, relations are further strained.

Épisode 6 - Episode Six

17 avril 2002

The gang begin to realize that Penny is failing as a teacher. Jenny sees it as a reflection on her mentoring but then Penny tries to get around her by flirting with Bob throwing him into full mid-life crises mode. A trip to the hospital and a word from Brian helps Bob’s put his mid-life crisis and Penny’s manipulative ways into perspective. Kurt is also forced to have a word with Penny when a student complains that her flirting with him in class is no substitute for teaching the material. Meanwhile Clare institutes an “Open Surgery” approach to counseling and Susan gets overwhelmed with walk-ins while Brian wonders why Kayla is avoiding seeking his council.

Épisode 7 - Episode Seven

24 avril 2002

Susan decides she wants a baby, after a talk with the kids about unprotected sex. Simon tries putting her off, whilst Brian and Kurt compete to become the father.

Épisode 8 - Episode Eight

1 mai 2002

When a student in Kurt’s I.T. Class enters his name on a web search engine, Kurt realizes that another man with the same name has accomplished a lot more than he has. This causes Simon to also realise that his life is boring, so he books a ticket abroad and announces it to a less than pleased Susan. After dropping the bomb on Clare and Bob, he becomes very unpopular with the faculty for leaving so early before the end of term. On his last day he is surprised with a party and a nice send off from his friends.

Épisode 9 - Episode Nine

8 mai 2002

The English department is feeling a noticeable gap due to Simon’s absence, while Jenny has renewed energy to focus on work since splitting up with Alec. Penny is forced into full-time teaching to help cover Simon's classes, however she is not ready for the challenge and clashes head on with Liz, who is trying to make her teaching life difficult as payback for taking advantage of everyone when she first started. Kurt and Brian are trying to improve their communication skills so that they have the courage to refuse extra work from Clare, but they are annoyed at J.P. as he can already do this extremely well and always gets out of doing any extra work.

Épisode 10 - Episode Ten

15 mai 2002

As Christmas draws near, the teachers, minus an absent Simon, attend the staff annual party. After Jenny tells Bob’s wife that he is very popular with the female staff, he gets lucky, over and over again. It appears that there is much Christmas spirit, as Liz tries sex with Kurt and is then disappointed with his small genitalia. Susan takes advice from Jenny and sleeps with Brian, who it turns out, is better than Kurt. Penny quickly jumps into bed with Simon’s replacement English teacher Matt, but is upset when she discovers that he is married with children. As they finish the term in the pub, Carol walks in after finishing with Errol and Kurt is delighted. The subject of their non-non-existant sex comes up and when asked why they haven’t yet done it, Kurt replies “We are saving ourselves”, to which everyone bursts out laughing.

Épisode 1 - Episode One

6 août 2003

Big, boozy Biology teacher Lindsay joins Summerdown, convinced she can drink anyone under the table. Brian is delighted, until Kurt convinces him that Lindsay fancies him. Bob’s been thrown out by his wife in favour of the satellite T.V. man, Matt wants to end the affair with Penny, and Carol is pregnant!

Épisode 2 - Episode Two

13 août 2003

Penny drives everyone insane with her self absorption until Lindsay finally cracks and tells her to shut up. Brian has switched from drinking lager to vodka, resulting in his vomiting; Bob is still sleeping in his car after his wife threw him out ; and the staff indulge in testing Liz’s temper—resulting in a barrage of four-letter fury!

Épisode 3 - Episode Three

20 août 2003

Kurt tries to give up smoking to impress a mother that he met at open evening, while all the staff secretly hold bets as to how long he will last. Brian gets told that he is boring, when he asks Matt why Kayla is failing his class. It is only when he talks to Liz about Fascism that he discovers the real reason behind her daughter’s academic problems.

Épisode 4 - Episode Four

27 août 2003

For the first time in her hard-hearted life, Liz takes pity on the dishevelled wreck that Bob has become. But mix up pity with alcohol and the results can be very surprising.

Épisode 5 - Episode Five

3 septembre 2003

As Lindsay turns 30 the group discuss her attitude on the matter. Matt throws a party for his wife, who is also turning 30, but is disappointed when he discovers that Lindsay won’t be having a party to keep Brian and Kurt away from his house. This is due to their recent fascination with what she looks like, which is making Penny jealous. Later on at the party, Penny gets her revenge on Matt by proving that no matter how perfect he claims his life is, she can always influence the kind of selfish decisions he makes.

Épisode 6 - Episode Six

10 septembre 2003

The teachers are assigned to pairs in an attempt to make them share their problems and make them more sociable to other staff. Lindsay and Matt are paired up, which makes Penny jealous.

Épisode 7 - Episode Seven

17 septembre 2003

Simon returns to Summerdown with a fully-grown beard. He tells everyone that he has been sleeping his way around the world, but after a grilling from Brian and Kurt things are not what they seem. He is given an opportunity to substitute, when a flu epidemic wipes out most of the English department. However, Simon proves to be very unpopular with most as he finds himself caught up in a messy love triangle.

Épisode 8 - Episode Eight

24 septembre 2003

An unwilling Matt takes over as head of English when Bob is taken into hospital, but his early intentions to remain one of the gang soon go right out of the window.

Épisode 9 - Episode Nine

1 octobre 2003

The gang grow depressed at their single lives, pondering their inability to sustain a relationship, until Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as married and seem to have the perfect partnership. Simon receives a job at a new school and ponders what his future may be like.

Épisode 10 - Episode Ten

8 octobre 2003

After receiving repeated complaints from parents and staff, all of which result in a formal warning, Lindsay takes a radical step and turns to Bob for help in keeping her job. Can the guru turn her into a ‘super teacher’?

Épisode 11 - Episode Eleven

15 octobre 2003

Brian becomes more obsessed with dinner lady Eileen, and soon comes to her rescue when Bob complains about the canteen food. This wins him a date with her, but he becomes so infatuated with her that he leads himself to believe that they are in a long term relationship, which he sadly ends after he claims that it isn’t “working”. He feels gutted however, when he realises that he never slept with her even when it was offered.

Épisode 12 - Episode Twelve

22 octobre 2003

Lindsay bets Penny that Matt and Kurt are completely alike when it becomes apparent that they are both tight when it comes to giving to charities.

Épisode 13 - Episode Thirteen

29 octobre 2003

Penny embarks on a new romance. In a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves in a compromising situation. The two spend the rest of the week avoiding their feelings for one another. After hearing that the human pupils dilate when looking at someone you love, Brian and Kurt try it out with everyone. It only proves successful however, when they look at each other. Meanwhile, Clare discovers Bob’s secret ‘weapon’ and has sex with him on her porch.

Épisode 1 - Episode One

26 octobre 2004

Summerdown Comp has merged with a rival school into Wattkins Comprehensive, and a ""us and them"" divide between staff and pupils. Bob starts a vendetta against his new boss Ewan, only to be humiliated. Claire, on the other hand, does everything she can to get Ewan's attention. The other newcomers, the cynical Damien and hypochondriac Ben, meanwhile, are labelled standoffish by Lindsay and Penny as they resist friendly gestures.

Épisode 2 - Episode Two

2 novembre 2004

Penny is upset after a failed pass at Ewan, but she is soon chatted up by a librarian. Her colleagues learn that he is actually a pupil, but Lindsay is loathe to tell Penny. Bob faces rejection as he searches for a Thai mail order bride, while Ben changes his views of the aged after visiting a group of pensioners on Age Awareness Day.

Épisode 3 - Episode Three

9 novembre 2004

During Gay & Lesbian Awareness Week, Ewan panics when a pupil develops a crush on him. Ben is attracted to Sarah from The Advisory Group, Claire is fascinated by a lesbian's behaviour, Liz worries that daughter Kayla is gay, and Lindsay is upset when she's told she'd make a good lesbian.

Épisode 4 - Episode Four

16 novembre 2004

Bob has a vasectomy to prepare for the arrival of his mail order bride. Meanwhile, Claire informs Lindsay that she must lose weight, as it is Obesity Awareness Week. Penny gets dumped by pupil Anthony, who would prefer to concentrate on his schoolwork.

Épisode 5 - Episode Five

23 novembre 2004

The teachers are excited by the arrival of Bob's new wife Ping, from Thailand. However they soon discover she is a misery who refuses to have sex. Meanwhile, it's the school's Religious Tolerance Week, resulting in a war between the pupils, and Ben is provoked to go to search for inner peace.

Épisode 6 - Episode Six

30 novembre 2004

The staff learn that Penny's surname is really Eichmann, and they immediately suspect her to be a Nazi - and she does lots of things to arouse their suspicions. During Race Awareness Week, Bob pretends that he is having lots of sex with his new wife, Ping. However in reality the only one Ping seems to be interested in is Ewan.

Épisode 7 - Episode Seven

7 décembre 2004

Damien proudly declares he doesn't need a girlfriend to complete his life - however he changes his mind when he sets eyes on supply teacher Anna. But his inflamed ardour is cooled after an unfortunate incident with an icing bag. Bob is still having problems with his wife, who refuses to give him sex and constantly abuses him.

Épisode 8 - Episode Eight

21 décembre 2004

Bob is planning his stag night in Dublin, but Ben insists he can't come- a ouija board predicted he would die the day before- and to ensure going to heaven, he converts to all religions for half a day each. Meanwhile, Penny tries to avoid getting into trouble for having an affair with pupil Anthony.

Épisode 9 - Episode Nine

14 décembre 2004

A severe female Inspector arrives to the school - with the classrooms in a mess from the Christmas Party the day before. Clare's plan of action - involving dinner ladies and fake pupils - fails and Ewan must seduce the Inspector to save the day. Bob prepares for the marriage ceremony - taking place in the playground, and featuring an igloo a sleigh, and Ben as the best men, with a reluctant Ping as a bride.

Épisode 10 - No title

- 5/5